Random Song Lyrics

Today we went to Ocala right after church, even packed up the dog, to go look for RV's.  It was another disappointing day... the RV's we liked were overpriced, and the rest seem to all smell bad.  One smelled like it had been a vet's office RV.  Horrible.

As you can imagine, I am feeling completely defeated, exhausted, and a little hopeless.  What, Heather?  How could you feel hopeless when God has called you to this?  Well, I know I can "hear" God's voice, and I know only He can change my heart the way it has been changed.  I know that all the events leading to this very moment have all been for a reason.  However, I cannot read God's mind.  (wouldn't that be crazy if I could)  So, we are still just waiting, waiting on the world to change... oh, no, sorry, song lyrics.  Seriously, we are moving out of this house tomorrow completely.  We are moving the rest of our stuff into a second storage locker, handing over the keys, and staying with our friends until we finally find the RV that is perfect for us.  I can't be in this house for another minute.  I need to move out and move on, even if we don't know where we are going to be next.

Yes, I know how crazy we are... but, think about the friends who just took our family in, all 6 of us, and the dog too.  They are really crazy.  Or they will be soon.  LOL!  I was crying out to God again tonight, feeling like I am somehow letting my family down, almost like I am failing them, and He showed me the amazing life change in these friends who are opening their home to us.  How because of us, they are showing Jesus's love to us with no questions asked.  He showed me how He can make anything beautiful, and that even if we don't have an RV to move into yet, we still have a roof over our heads and we are still together as a healthy family.  What more do we need?  Really, nothing.

I can't imagine how jumbled the last few posts I have written might seem, and I don't really go back and re-read or proof read before I push the publish button... I don't want to change what I am writing from my heart, just because my head says that it could be written better, or with bigger words, or more description.  I want you all to know what my heart is feeling through all of this.

OH!  Random thought, but important to this... so I was crying earlier, like I said... and after the kids were finally in bed, I laid down and turned on the TV for a few minutes.  Joel Olsten was just coming on, and I was about to change it, since I am just not really into TV evangelism, but I stopped to hear a sermon from him, since he is under the microscope with a lot of Christians over his "feel good, prosperity" messages.  Guess what, they are right.  He is a feel good, prosperity preacher.  But today, I needed to hear that.  He was talking about faith, choosing to believe in something even though the facts say it just can't happen.  He brought up the same points over and over, about sick having faith to be healed, about finances and how we can have faith to come through the struggles and come out on top, and faith to improve other parts of life.  But he kept saying "faith, faith, you gotta have faith"  And he is right.  Above all, that is what my life is all about.  Choosing to have faith, even though the facts don't add up.  And why should I stop believing now?  Everything I have put my faith in God for up to this point, has come out for the very best.  Starting with my precious first born child, and down to every little detail of this new adventure we are trying to start.  And I am going to choose to keep having faith.

I am so tired right now, that I am hoping that I said enough tonight, but I can't even keep my eye lids open to try to write anymore.  Please don't stop praying, and thank you so much for reading my blog.  I hope it will bless you, like writing it is a blessing to me.  Sweet dreams.

The Lost Virtue Part 2

I know in my heart that God's timing is always perfect.  I just wish I could see the clock too.  Patience is something that most people think I have a lot of... but that is not so true, and that is showing through right now.  We are living in a house with almost no furniture, no beds at all, with landlords that (rightfully) want us out... not one of us knows what to expect tomorrow, and it has been very emotionally draining living this way.

As I am pouring out my heart to God, asking for answers, for help, for protection from the evil one, I want the answers.  How would I find answers from God?  Well, the Bible is a good place to look.   I have been trying to remember to start every day with a little truth, and I just simply look for the verse of the day on my Bible app and then read that chapter in the Bible.  It has been working well, and today was especially enlightening for me.

Today, the verse of the day is Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. ~ The whole chapter talks about living in faith, and names many of the people that were written about in the Bible that had faith.  God has reminded me of so many of these "characters" over the last few weeks and months.  Noah keeps coming up, and so does Mary.  Abraham has been brought up from a friend.  Sarah, and her faith gave her a baby WAY past her years of child bearing, and so many more stories, all in one chapter, reminding me that if they could do it in their much bigger, crazier circumstances, than I can make it through, faithfully waiting for our little RV.

Christmas is two weeks from today.  We have not talked about gifts, or about shopping.  We have been focusing on our family, on giving our things to others, to bless them the way we have been blessed.  We are focusing on making memories, spending quality time together, and not trying to keep up with the Jones's anymore.  I challenge you to look at your "holiday season".  Look at what you're focused on, and if it will really matter tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year.

As we sit in an empty, 3000 sq ft house, hearing our voices echo against the walls where our STUFF used to be, you'd think my children would be complaining about what they don't have, or what they had to pack away and store... I am so amazed at them, and how happy they are to just be.  To just be.  No matter what happens next, we will still have our healthy family, our friends, and our faith to get us to the next place we need to be.  Blessed doesn't begin to explain the feeling I am feeling, through the fear and the struggle.  We are so very blessed.

They said Yes!

Hey guys!!!  The place in Tampa that we had purchased an RV from before are willing to finance us for whatever we need left to cover the cost of whatever RV we pick out!  Now the hard part (apparently) is going to be finding the house we need at a price that is reasonable and affordable.  The search continues.  They want us to try to find one at a dealership, for ease of transaction and also better protection from bad titles etc., so that limits us and our options.  Please pray with us that we will find the perfect RV in the next day or two, and that God will make it very obvious and easy to get through the process.  Please also pray for the land lords of this house.  That they will continue to be understanding and that God will just speak to their hearts through this as well.  Thanks!  I will keep the updates coming!  

December 3rd

I am sitting at an old microwave cabinet, I think that is what they call them, because both the desks in our office sold today.  It is so strangely exhilarating to look around this house, as things are being picked up for purchase, and truly not know what is going to happen next.  Today, Joey called on the RV we would love to buy.  It has the things that would make living in an RV full time possible and comfortable.  It seems like it was well taken care of so far.  Joey is going to go test drive it tomorrow.  Also, Joey went back to the dealership in Tampa, and the woman promised to have an answer as to whether or not they would help us finance the rest of what we don't have saved, but she did not call back today, nor did she specify when she would call back by.  It has been a very exciting day for me, and the suspense is killing me.  I will wait upon the Lord, and trust in Him with all my heart, my soul, and my mind.  I will wait upon the Lord.....

I know that this moment, these last few days and weeks, and all of what is about to happen means so much more that what I can see or understand right now in front of me.  I am the most excited to know that God is using me, ME, to show Himself, and Jesus.  That what the Bible says is true, that we can trust in Him with all our needs, and that that trust can be as small as a mustard seed, but change lives and move mountains with that tiny amount of faith.  I know that God can give me back my teenage daughter, the one I had given to Him, and her adoptive mom.  I know that God can forgive for anything, I mean anything.  So I know that He can provide our family with what we need right now.  And I know that I can't wait to see how He will continue to use us in this RV on this crazy adventure with no beginning and no end.  

What's next?  Great question!  Tomorrow, I have two friends blessing me with their time, we are going to set up for the "everything in the house and the garage" sale that we are going to have Saturday.  I need to start taking pictures of what is left and posting it on the local sites tomorrow.  If you need stuff, we have it, so come to our house on Saturday and buy our stuff to help us raise the rest of the money we will need to buy this new house (on wheels)!  I am also going to help the girls decide on what clothing to bring "on the bus".  It will be a very easy task for Lily, I think she only has about 5 shirts that fit her that she will wear, and probably less shorts.  She does her laundry a lot.  Daisy, however, will be a different story.  I think she has more clothes than Barbie, thanks to a wonderful friend who blesses us often with lots of fabulous clothes.  Daisy is my little fashionista.  She is always wanting to pick out the little girl's outfits, and tries to offer advice for my wardrobe as well.  The things I didn't know I needed.  Ivy's clothes are already in a laundry basket, ready to go.  (The Master bed has storage under the mattress and mattress platform, a perfect size to hold laundry baskets with neatly folded clothes)  Her dresser sold last week.  The bunk beds will be taken down tomorrow as well.  How strange it is to even type those words.  Maybe I am a little anxious...

I really need to make myself go to sleep now, I should probably get up earlier than the kids and try to get more work done before the interruptions begin.  At least I will have another adult to help field the "child needs" that arise tomorrow.  Thank you for still reading along.  I am glad that I will have this all documented for us to look back on and remember, and I am glad that it is blessing some of you, as you have shared with me.  Thank you also, for the continued prayers.  I KNOW I couldn't be doing all this right now without the prayers!

Things You Should Know

This is hard.  This is very hard.  Another mom, a fellow roadschooler, who I have never met in person, warned me.  She said I need to know that the closer "it" gets, the harder it will get.  I get it now.  (See what I did there hehe)  She was right, and I am glad that after a few days of spiritual warfare, I was able to look up and see the forest for the trees, so to speak.  Joey and I have been arguing for days.  Blame, guilt, stress, fear, the devil has been using them all.  The kids are doing their best to stay out of the way and hang onto the faith they have grasped onto.  (There, I said it)

But there is faith, at least I still have that.  I have had more than one person lately ask me if I have had any second thoughts, any doubts in what I feel like the Lord has been telling me.  My answer is a firm NO.  The few moments in the beginning where I wavered in my faith, God showed me (and I  blogged about it) other people, my brothers and sisters in Christ, who had faith that didn't make sense, and where He took them.  Especially at this time of year, Mary really comes to mind.  She didn't really have a choice but to have faith, did she?  I mean she was already kinda pregnant.  People probably thought she was crazy.  SHE probably thought she was crazy!  But a baby was born, and we celebrate His birthday soon.  And if God can do that, He can do anything.  I believe!  

As we come into this Christmas season, the season of celebration, but also of giving, our family will be buying an RV.  Every penny we have will be towards the BEST Christmas present that the world could produce for our family right now.  Our home until further notice.  Our kids won't be disappointed in how few boxes might be under the tree, though the devil might try to sneak the lies through their joy.  Our kids will be with us, and we will be with them.  We will be spending time together, with our family and friends.  We won't worry about what presents to buy, or how many decorations to put up in our RV (but that will be fun!).  Our family will be celebrating the birth of our Savior, the start of something completely new, and the time and resources we will now have to use so much more wisely.  That is all we need.  

It is such a challenge to find words to type right now.  My mind is almost numb with all the thoughts that are running through it.  I know God wants me to be sharing all the bits and pieces of this adventure (I can't think of a better word), but even thinking about the past few days right now is making me tired.  I am going to apologize now for any run-on sentences or horrible grammar mistakes that be in this post.  I am going to sum it up in as few words as possible.  Phone, with all pics of everything being sold, decided to dive into my protein shake.  Next day, kitchen faucet decides to start squirting water everywhere... and then not doing anything at all.  Now I am using a phone that is barely working because the technology has surpassed it ten-fold.  But, I am so thankful for my indestructible phone!  Even if I can't Facebook half the time :).  (At least I have a phone)  And I am thankful for clean water in my garden hose and a window in my kitchen, so I can still wash dishes in the kitchen, and not in the bath tub (that doesn't drain).  (At least I have dishes to wash) New houses have crappy plumbing.  That is today's service announcement.  

I think I need to go to bed now, I am starting to see double.  I knew I needed to at least write something. Please continue to pray for protection from the devil for our whole family.  Please pray for the perfect RV with no problems that we are not able to fix.  Thank you!   

December 3rd

Did I write about feeling like I kept hearing December 3rd from the Holy Spirit?  I don't remember (big surprise) if I did or not, but it has been a date in my head for a few weeks now.  I didn't really know what that meant, I was just thinking that maybe that would be the day we would actually move out.  

However, something strange happened today.  Joey decided to make a second call to the place in Tampa where we have already purchased an RV.  This is strange because he is not the kind of guy to make a second call if the first call was not returned.  Me, I am persistent.  Anyway, so he called today and acted like me, being persistent.  He finally got the owner on the phone and she had remembered our family.  (who can forget us LOL)  They talked for a few minutes, she told him they don't have RVs on the lot right now, but that they could go to auction and see what they could find for us.  The benefit of going through her would be two things.  First, they have experience in RVs already, VS other people we know who have access to auctions.  Second, they have financed us before, and we could finance this one through them as well. For some reason, God has not allowed us to save as much money as we had hoped to, so financing is probably unavoidable.   

What does that have to do with December 3rd?  That is the day of the next auction.  God has told me over and over to be patient.  Even through His Word, which doesn't happen very often at all.  And then the date being repeated over and over in my head.  I KNOW He has the perfect thing for us!  It will have everything we NEED, and enough room to be able to homeschool comfortably with a dog on the floor next to us.  It might be an older model, or not be so cute on the inside... but it will be perfect.  

I cannot even begin to describe the feeling I have inside me right now.  Of course, the elation is mixed with fear, because I still have a LOT of stuff to sell and pass along!  I need wisdom for what to sell and what to just share, and also how much to ask for each of the things we are selling.  And motivation to just keep packing.  Thanks for the prayers, they are working!!!  

P.S. How can I be praying for you?

The No News Flash

Well, I guess that title is misleading, because I do have news to report.  It just isn't what I would like to be reporting on right now.  We are down to 11 days until our lease is up.  We are waiting patiently for what is gonna happen next, whatever that is.  I have faith that God has the perfect RV picked out for us, and that we will have it as soon as possible.  I also have noticed that God likes to make us wait until the very last day, and sometimes even last hour or minute, before He covers our next need.  He knows we need a place to live.  He knows we need something to suit our family.  He knows our needs.  He clothes us by all of the people who bless us with "passed along" clothing.  He provides us with cars, and food, and phones.  We are not lacking, our needs are met.  We are blessed with so many things we want as well.  We are so blessed!

Yes, we do have a few ideas for "back-up" plans, friends and family have offered their homes for us to share, and we could always hit up a hotel if need be.  I am constantly amazed at the number of friends who will offer what they have to us, such a big family (and loud too)  God has really shown us what love looks like through these last 2 plus years.  I hope that I am mirroring that in a way that makes Him proud.

I seem to have writer's block tonight.  Maybe it's the deadline approaching, maybe it's the fact that I am not taking care of myself as well as I should, so my brain is a little foggy, or maybe it's just the (rare) freezing temperatures outside tonight.  I feel like I have so much to say about everything, yet the words just don't flow.  I wish I could explain the crazy peace I am experiencing considering all that is about to happen.  It really is the peace that passes understanding that I sang about when I was a kid.  I am bi-polar with anxiety and I should be a total mess right now.  Thank God for my meds, but they can only do so much to keep me level.  I can't believe that I can eat and sleep and not feel like I am going to throw up or pass out right now. It is such relief!  I mean, I could easily freak out, take control and find an apartment real quick to make sure we have a real plan in case maybe I heard God wrong or something... but I want to let go and let God, like the saying goes.

OH!  AND... a German Shepard dog has decided to make us his family... isn't that funny?!?  We had talked about having a large dog for protection, and had even "interviewed" a rottie awhile back.  That dog had issues, so we just kinda gave up the idea.  My mom and I were having a conversation about the decision to wait on getting a dog on Wed, Oct 29th.  She was saying how nuts I was to want a dog in an RV too, but I really miss my rottie, she was my travel companion before I ever met Joey, and I loved having her along because she scared the crap out of people.  :)    I agreed with mom, though, on the timing.  Especially considering that I have 1 kid in diapers full time, and another in them at night... I don't need to potty train a dog too.  I told her "the only way I could have a dog right now is if one came already potty trained and knowing how to sit so I can just teach the dog from there and not have to worry about the baby puppy stage".  I still can't believe this as I am typing it, but the VERY NEXT DAY, Joey drove out to his old Tampa shop to get some clear bra materials cut.  When he got there, after trying to get out to the shop for days, his buddy told him about a dog they had inside that had just walked up to them and started hanging around the shop.  They took the dog to a vet to check for a microchip, and nothing was found.  We have had the dog ever since that day, searching online and putting up posters to find the dogs owner.  We haven't found anyone that claims him!  So, the dog seems to be around 9 months old, is completely house trained, knows the command 'sit', and is turning out to be a really great dog.  I can't believe the dog I described to my mom walked into our lives the very next day.  I don't believe in coincidence, I think God allows everything to happen for a reason, and I am sitting on the edge of my seat (with you) waiting to see what is going to happen next.  Thanks for "staying tuned"!

Gotta Have Faith

Ok, so I have been sick for a week now, to the point of just enough head and chest cold to not be able to think straight or have much energy, for a week.  Doesn't really keep me on schedule, (HA!  if you know me, you know that "schedule" is a dirty word) things have actually piled up, so I am having to just catch up before I can move on to more sorting, packing and making piles of what is going where.  It is a sea of boxes and containers all over my bedroom, and the dining room.  I feel like I am getting so much done, and then I look around and see nothing to show for it.  Talk about aggravating.  My sweet girls are offering their help constantly, but at the moment, there is really not much they can do.

Oh, and still there is no RV.  God is so good, and Joey has had some big jobs come in during the last week and even going into next week.  We are able to save a lot of that money, and we do have his van we can sell if we need to.  I know that I have complete faith that this is what God has next for our family.  Everything has been set up perfectly.  I can see the even bigger picture right now too.  God has just unlocked a window to me that has helped me put so many connections together to understand why He has allowed the things of my past to happen.  That in itself, has been beyond overwhelming.  I told a friend the other day that I feel like I am a living Bible story right now.  God has remind me of the manna that he provided, only what they needed for one day, and no more.  God has remind me of Mary, who had no choice but to trust God, just like me right now.  I remember the story of Job, and how he was stripped of EVERYTHING, at least we are not asked to be Job.  :)

I have not been reading the Bible like I should this week and I am feeling it.  I am rushed to write this, but I at least wanted to give a quick update.  I have Bible study tonight, a jump start back to God's word.  I am sure to have His inspiration to write more.  I'll be back soon.

P.S. A dog has adopted us.  A German Shepard puppy.  This might be permanent.

Patience, the Lost Virtue

I am not the kind of person that you would automatically look at and think, "Wow, she has the patience of a saint".  Yes, I have 5 kids, 4 of which can't take care of themselves.  That doesn't mean I am patient.  I pray for tolerance.  I have prayed for patience, and that never ends well.  I have found that God likes to stretch your abilities by what you pray for, so I now pray for tolerance.  

Right now, however, I need patience.  I am praying for peace, for perfect faith, and for help not worrying about tomorrow.  He has us in this place, where we just don't get even a glimpse of what might happen next.  No announcement, no commercial, no bill board or poster.  Just a door that we are waiting for Him to open.  

The second big job that Joey was offered, seems to be falling through as well, but everyday he has work.  Everyday the phone rings and he has more work come in.  It is amazing.  We are still looking for the perfect RV at the perfect price, and just waiting on what God is gonna do next.

You would think that I would be beyond anxious (which I go through phases in) and struggling with what to do.  That was last week.  I am over that part now.  I am just truckin' along (see what I did there?  LOL), going through every box, bag and container we own.  Still planning on this trip, in our invisible RV.  People might think I'm crazy (well, they are right), but I still am certain that this is what our next house is going to be.  Even if it isn't here yet, and even if it doesn't make any sense.  I am just along for the ride.  

I Think I Get It...

Alright, by now you have figured out that I am a God girl.  Today I had a thought that I wish I had realized a long time ago, but I guess I needed to learn a lot to get here.  The Bible.  All it is is a bunch of people telling each other, "You will never believe this, but....." and they actually listened to God and wrote it down.  I am finding the stories relevant in my own life right now, as well as in friend's lives, as I listen to them tell about what they are going through.  It is crazy that I am 35 years old, and I have read the Bible on and off over the years.  I know a lot of the stories, and have some scripture memorized, though I might not know exactly where it is in the Bible.  I am just now experiencing the relation from the stories I am personally reading directly to what is going on in my life right now.

I have felt a very close connect to God mostly through prayer.  I enjoy prayer, I am comfortable praying for others, or out-loud with a group of people.  I am so thankful for my intuition, I think another word for it is discernment, and I know that is from my connection to God.  And through all my wild and crazy years, that alone protected me over and over.  But the Bible?  It has always just been a bit confusing and mostly boring to me all of these years.

You know what I think helped?  The magic of apps.  The You Version Bible app (not a paid endorsement) is great!  I can highlight and find verses quickly, but the best part is that you can change versions of the Bible to compare the words to hopefully make it make more sense.  I like to think I am pretty smart... though very forgetful, but I find the ERV (Holy Bible - Easy Reader Version) is fantastic!  It is written for 3rd graders to understand.  Maybe even 1st graders.  And then I will switch to the NIV and the KJV for a strong comparison.  And if I am feeling really inspired, I will check out the Amplified Version, that one is fun.

I need to go to bed, but I need to close like this.  If you are being nudged to read the Bible, whether for the first time, or the first time in a long time, just do it.  Pick a verse you already know, and read the chapter surrounding it.  Or just stick your thumb in the pages and open it and read.  Or find a study to do in the Bible App... they have tons of quick and easy ones.  I will pray that God will talk to you the way He is speaking to me right now through His Word.  I finally get what that means!  When I blog, I pray for His words.  His Words.

Good night.

Plan B

So now everyone wants to know what is in the works now.  God is so good.  The very next day after Joey turned down the barn barter deal because of the man's greed, he had the next job opportunity offered to him.  He has a chance to help a home owner with a lot of very detailed and specific work around his home, and it has been working out wonderfully so far.  Joey is very thankful for the work on things he is already familiar with, versus trying to figure out how to build a barn... which I know he could do, but it would be a big task.  The person he is working with seems to understand Joey, and Joey is able to understand this man's attention to detail, since he is the same way.  

It could be the beginning of something beautiful :)  We have been looking at RVs for sale again, we have a realistic wish list and then the "you wish" wish list.  We really need to have a slide, for the extra space to play games, and do homeschool on the living room floor with enough space for all the girls.  A dream would be a washer/dryer combo.  We need to have really good air conditioners... or Joey might melt.  (He is gonna love that comment)  A dream would be to have a tow package and trailer already in the deal.  

Oh, and as I am learning, most of you don't know our plans anyway.  OUR plans are to move out December 1st, and into the RV.  We are not planning on leaving Florida until the end of April of next year.  I don't do cold weather for long periods of time, and I do NOT want to experience an RV on the highway in the snow and ice...ever.   Now, that being said, often, I eat my words.  God's plans are sometimes a lot different than I had been thinking was going to happen, so we will just wait and see.  And keep on trying not to worry about tomorrow.  He says that tomorrow has enough worries of it's own.  (Matt 6:34)

The Chicken Story

I still can't quite figure out how to make this blog page do what I want.  Gracsyn has promised me that she will show me what I need to know before she goes back home.  It is so strange to think about how much is going to change all at once.  And there seems to be no way to prepare for it.  (She is planning on leaving November 9th to go back to North Carolina)

Anyway, The Chicken Story!  Some of you are gonna think I have cracked (no pun intended)... but last Sunday, God used Joey's trip to Sam's Club to give me the heads up that we might have to wait until the very last minute to get the RV we need.  It was the afternoon of our last Growing Kids God's Way group, and we had a family dinner after the video.  Joey decided to head to Sam's Club to grab a few things we needed, including a rotisserie chicken. (they are so good!)

If you don't know Joey, he is an excellent story teller, so picture him telling this part.  He calls me to tell me the scenario.  He was walking up to the meat section where they keep the chicken under a warmer.  As he spots the warmer, he noticed that there didn't seem to be any chickens left.  He got closer... still, no chicken in sight.  He got closer still, and there, to one side, was a lone chicken.  It was waiting for him to take it home.  Strangely, we didn't need the chicken for dinner that night after all.

When he was telling me this story, in the dramatic way that he does, this thought just dawned on me that we were gonna have to wait until the need was right there.  It has been that way for the last two years, why should it change now?  God has provided for our needs, down to the exact penny, and quite often, on the exact day that we have needed it.  It has been in the form of all kinds of jobs for Joey.  Things he has never done before, that God has just given him the wisdom to know how to do.  And God has also used people, so many times, stories I will never forget, and I know He won't either.

Each time I open the bible, or my bible study, and each Sunday, God is revealing the people of the past that have been challenged with something somehow similar to what I am going through at this very moment.  It is kind of a strange phenomenon to experience, but as I write to share with you, it becomes more obvious as I type the words.  I have promised not to edit the content of my blog after I write it, that way the words that I write are exactly what need to be said.  

I am so thankful to be in this place in life,  no matter how crazy it gets.  To just know that I can count on how I am feeling about everything that is happening right in front of us, it makes taking each day as it comes so much easier.  I am still walking around my house in circles, not sure what to pack, and what to sell and what to give.   But I will figure it out, and the girls are learning a lot and are helping me out tremendously.  At least from now on, we will always have our family!

The Promised Update

I have quickly realized how hard it is to blog with this much activity going on in our lives right now.  Not that I have had a whole lot to write about the last couple days... we are just waiting in faith, and pretending that everything is normal and that this is what everyone is doing.  

Tonight at my bible study, we talked about when it is a time to die, or end something that is dying.  Pruning, if you will.  In order to make something flourish, you might need to cut back on some branches (things/relationships) to help the growth become stronger and more beautiful.  God doesn't do coincidence... today is also our 10th wedding anniversary.  10 years ago today, I vowed to be a different person, to get rid of what wasn't the best, to commit to a different roll, and to an extent that I humanly cannot explain or understand completely.  I changed my life dramatically, though it did take some time for the growth to finally come back stronger, and I believe that it is all because of what God can do with someone who is willing to be pruned.  

Our life is being pruned, as a family, right now.  We are living in a mansion, in our minds, 3000 square feet is a lot of space.  I know that this home was from God as well, and I really wish I had started blogging when that all went down almost a year ago.  God gave it to us so we would have room for Tristin and Gracsyn while they were with us.  But once again, another story.

Until December 1st, the girls are sharing a 300 square foot bedroom/playroom.  God is calling us to downsize a bit, to 300 square feet for our WHOLE home.  Talk about pruning!  Our goal is to be able to fit what we still own into a 5' X 10' storage locker and what will fit in an RV.  The surprising emotions that are involved in basically getting rid of most of what you have collected over the last 10 years is confusing, yet healthy.  I am blessed with the memories of  those who have blessed us with all of our stuff, the many families of friends who have passed on their belongings to us, and I am blessed at the thought of who it will be passed onto.  But none the less, it is honestly a bit of a struggle.  Especially because we still do not actually possess an RV.

About that, God has allowed me to see into the situation.  I am learning that He is always giving us opportunities to make an impact, and be part of His will for our lives.  In this situation, God tried to use a man who needed a barn to be designed and built, and was wanting to barter an RV for the labor.  Unfortunately, the devil succeeded in intercepting the deal, tricking the man into wanting more money for the RV, not thinking that Joey's labor for MANY weeks was worth the dollar amount of his material possession.  

So, God moved onto the next heart.  A man Joey was introduced to through a member of our church, a believing man as well.  He has offered Joey approximately 6 - 8 weeks of work, remodeling his home, exactly how long it would have taken Joey to build the barn.  However, this job is close to home, Joey won't have to be in a different state (like would have been for the barn deal) and he already has plans made out to work with, which I am hoping is a big blessing in itself.  

In my next post, I need to remember to tell you about my Sam's Club chicken story, and how God has just used the strangest ways to talk to me lately! 

New Beginnings: Plan B

The man who Joey has been talking with about bartering the RV for Joey's labor to build a barn just got a little more annoying.  Now the guy wants Joey to build a barn and also pay him $12,000 for the RV above all the work Joey has planned out to do...  I think God is closing that door now.  Our last RV we had we bought for $12,000 and Joey didn't have to leave for 6 weeks or build anything.  Back to the drawing board.

Today I delivered a baby toy to a friend, sold a toy organizer, and passed on a doll house and a toy box that was given to us.  It felt scary, wonderful, and a little invigorating.  Hearing God's voice, and then following it in something this crazy is a very strange feeling I can't really explain.  It starts with a little anxiety followed by excitement and a little relief.  I can hear the Holy Spirit whispering to me that God will continue to bless us abundantly, and to just bless others.

However, not knowing where I am going to be living come December 1st should be terrifying to me at this point.  I am thrilled instead, and I can't wait to see what God is going to do next.  If the barn thing fell through, was it just a distraction for Joey, until God can set up the perfect RV?  Or did God want to use this man, but the man's greed got in the way, so God is working on another person's heart?  Is Joey going to have a flood of work and we will have the money we need to just buy another RV?  Am I going to have to move in with some friends or family for an unknown amount of time?  I thank God for His peace that passes understanding right now, because I should be in a corner of my closet crying right now!

But I will trust in the Lord my God with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my strength.  And I will not worry about tomorrow, because I know my God will handle all the details.

A Time for New Beginnings

I started a new bible study last week called "Time for Everything".  I have not been involved in a bible study since I was pregnant with Sunny, over 16 months ago.  God's timing is EVERYTHING.  This week, the chapter is titled "A Time for New Beginnings".  That is what this is.  This adventure that we have been called to, this dream to most people, something almost unattainable. 

The word revival means a new beginning of obedience, and that is what God is calling us to.  We require obedience of our children, and He is expecting the same of us, His children.  

The first thing I keep hearing (from God) is to blog.  Blog, blog, BLOG!!!  Ok, God, here I go.  Please help me to have the discipline to continue this and the wisdom to write what you want them to hear.

The second thing I keep hearing is that He has the perfect RV already picked out and that He has covered all the details.  

If you don't know me, or at least don't know what new craziness our family is up to... you are wondering what an RV has to do with anything.  So here it goes.

God has called us out of our comfort zone and into an RV.  He wants us to step out on faith; on the water, if you will, and sell most of what we own, downsize from a 3000 sq ft home to a 5' X 10' storage unit and move into a 350 sq ft RV.  And if you don't believe in God, now you REALLY think we are crazy.  

Yes, this mama is going to let go of most of our earthly things, take my 4 kids and my husband and live in an RV full time, while homeschooling and traveling around the country (when it is warm).  The HOW of it all will come later.  But God has been asking me, or really telling me to blog and I want to start with today.

So, back to the bible study.  We were reading in Exodus about Moses and the burning bush... a story I have heard before.  But I had never really READ the story and stopped to understand it.  Today was the perfect day for that.  

The basic idea of the story is that Moses comes across a random, constantly burning bush that is not burning up.  So of course he is curious and goes to check it out.  God (the cause of the burning bush) sees Moses coming up to see what this strange sight is all about, and calls to Moses. God tells him not to come any closer to the bush, but to take his sandals off (anywhere God is is holy ground) .  Moses obeys and then hides his face because he was afraid to look at God.  Then God instructs Moses to go to the Pharaoh and demand that he let God's people, the Israelites, out of Egypt.  In Exodus 3 and 4, Moses is having a conversation with God about why he shouldn't go talk to this big Pharaoh guy, but God basically says, "Dude, your equipped, I gave you the mouth you have and I will help you to say what I need you to say... you just need to obey."  God also calls himself [the] I AM.

After we read about that, we were given an activity.  We were told to finish the sentence, God might be talking to me about.....
My answer was that God is asking me to give Him COMPLETE control of my life and trust Him 110%.  He is challenging me specifically by asking me to allow Him to have control over when I have another baby, so I am not taking birth control for the first time in my life.  He has also asked us to go on this RV adventure, however, we are 6 weeks away from our lease being up and we have no RV.  Talk about needing faith!!!  

So while I am at the wonderful evening of bible study talking with God and myself about my struggles and how I can overcome them, Joey is at home and on the phone with a man he is making a deal with for an RV.  But, we are the Rowas, so nothing can be normal.  So Joey is trying to work out a deal to built a barn in barter/trade for a beautiful RV that has a lot of the things we would like to have in our new home.  When he got of the phone with that man, he told me that the deal is probably off.  Even though Joey has been working for the last 2.5 weeks on building plans, pricing out materials and getting all the details for building a barn, the man has found someone who is willing to do the work for much less money.  

So, we have no idea what is going to happen next.  We have very little savings, the work only comes in when we need something to be paid for.  God has been cool like that with us for the last TWO YEARS, obviously preparing us for what is to come.  But that story is for another time as well.  

My mind has gone blank, that must be all I need to say for now.  But let me share my prayer for myself for today.  Lord, please help me to manage my time better and not to be afraid of what is going to happen next.  Please give me the faith to know that the details are already covered.  Please remind me to pray and read (the bible) everyday with my family, so that we are constantly protected from the devil.  Amen.