Patience, the Lost Virtue

I am not the kind of person that you would automatically look at and think, "Wow, she has the patience of a saint".  Yes, I have 5 kids, 4 of which can't take care of themselves.  That doesn't mean I am patient.  I pray for tolerance.  I have prayed for patience, and that never ends well.  I have found that God likes to stretch your abilities by what you pray for, so I now pray for tolerance.  

Right now, however, I need patience.  I am praying for peace, for perfect faith, and for help not worrying about tomorrow.  He has us in this place, where we just don't get even a glimpse of what might happen next.  No announcement, no commercial, no bill board or poster.  Just a door that we are waiting for Him to open.  

The second big job that Joey was offered, seems to be falling through as well, but everyday he has work.  Everyday the phone rings and he has more work come in.  It is amazing.  We are still looking for the perfect RV at the perfect price, and just waiting on what God is gonna do next.

You would think that I would be beyond anxious (which I go through phases in) and struggling with what to do.  That was last week.  I am over that part now.  I am just truckin' along (see what I did there?  LOL), going through every box, bag and container we own.  Still planning on this trip, in our invisible RV.  People might think I'm crazy (well, they are right), but I still am certain that this is what our next house is going to be.  Even if it isn't here yet, and even if it doesn't make any sense.  I am just along for the ride.  

I Think I Get It...

Alright, by now you have figured out that I am a God girl.  Today I had a thought that I wish I had realized a long time ago, but I guess I needed to learn a lot to get here.  The Bible.  All it is is a bunch of people telling each other, "You will never believe this, but....." and they actually listened to God and wrote it down.  I am finding the stories relevant in my own life right now, as well as in friend's lives, as I listen to them tell about what they are going through.  It is crazy that I am 35 years old, and I have read the Bible on and off over the years.  I know a lot of the stories, and have some scripture memorized, though I might not know exactly where it is in the Bible.  I am just now experiencing the relation from the stories I am personally reading directly to what is going on in my life right now.

I have felt a very close connect to God mostly through prayer.  I enjoy prayer, I am comfortable praying for others, or out-loud with a group of people.  I am so thankful for my intuition, I think another word for it is discernment, and I know that is from my connection to God.  And through all my wild and crazy years, that alone protected me over and over.  But the Bible?  It has always just been a bit confusing and mostly boring to me all of these years.

You know what I think helped?  The magic of apps.  The You Version Bible app (not a paid endorsement) is great!  I can highlight and find verses quickly, but the best part is that you can change versions of the Bible to compare the words to hopefully make it make more sense.  I like to think I am pretty smart... though very forgetful, but I find the ERV (Holy Bible - Easy Reader Version) is fantastic!  It is written for 3rd graders to understand.  Maybe even 1st graders.  And then I will switch to the NIV and the KJV for a strong comparison.  And if I am feeling really inspired, I will check out the Amplified Version, that one is fun.

I need to go to bed, but I need to close like this.  If you are being nudged to read the Bible, whether for the first time, or the first time in a long time, just do it.  Pick a verse you already know, and read the chapter surrounding it.  Or just stick your thumb in the pages and open it and read.  Or find a study to do in the Bible App... they have tons of quick and easy ones.  I will pray that God will talk to you the way He is speaking to me right now through His Word.  I finally get what that means!  When I blog, I pray for His words.  His Words.

Good night.

Plan B

So now everyone wants to know what is in the works now.  God is so good.  The very next day after Joey turned down the barn barter deal because of the man's greed, he had the next job opportunity offered to him.  He has a chance to help a home owner with a lot of very detailed and specific work around his home, and it has been working out wonderfully so far.  Joey is very thankful for the work on things he is already familiar with, versus trying to figure out how to build a barn... which I know he could do, but it would be a big task.  The person he is working with seems to understand Joey, and Joey is able to understand this man's attention to detail, since he is the same way.  

It could be the beginning of something beautiful :)  We have been looking at RVs for sale again, we have a realistic wish list and then the "you wish" wish list.  We really need to have a slide, for the extra space to play games, and do homeschool on the living room floor with enough space for all the girls.  A dream would be a washer/dryer combo.  We need to have really good air conditioners... or Joey might melt.  (He is gonna love that comment)  A dream would be to have a tow package and trailer already in the deal.  

Oh, and as I am learning, most of you don't know our plans anyway.  OUR plans are to move out December 1st, and into the RV.  We are not planning on leaving Florida until the end of April of next year.  I don't do cold weather for long periods of time, and I do NOT want to experience an RV on the highway in the snow and ice...ever.   Now, that being said, often, I eat my words.  God's plans are sometimes a lot different than I had been thinking was going to happen, so we will just wait and see.  And keep on trying not to worry about tomorrow.  He says that tomorrow has enough worries of it's own.  (Matt 6:34)

The Chicken Story

I still can't quite figure out how to make this blog page do what I want.  Gracsyn has promised me that she will show me what I need to know before she goes back home.  It is so strange to think about how much is going to change all at once.  And there seems to be no way to prepare for it.  (She is planning on leaving November 9th to go back to North Carolina)

Anyway, The Chicken Story!  Some of you are gonna think I have cracked (no pun intended)... but last Sunday, God used Joey's trip to Sam's Club to give me the heads up that we might have to wait until the very last minute to get the RV we need.  It was the afternoon of our last Growing Kids God's Way group, and we had a family dinner after the video.  Joey decided to head to Sam's Club to grab a few things we needed, including a rotisserie chicken. (they are so good!)

If you don't know Joey, he is an excellent story teller, so picture him telling this part.  He calls me to tell me the scenario.  He was walking up to the meat section where they keep the chicken under a warmer.  As he spots the warmer, he noticed that there didn't seem to be any chickens left.  He got closer... still, no chicken in sight.  He got closer still, and there, to one side, was a lone chicken.  It was waiting for him to take it home.  Strangely, we didn't need the chicken for dinner that night after all.

When he was telling me this story, in the dramatic way that he does, this thought just dawned on me that we were gonna have to wait until the need was right there.  It has been that way for the last two years, why should it change now?  God has provided for our needs, down to the exact penny, and quite often, on the exact day that we have needed it.  It has been in the form of all kinds of jobs for Joey.  Things he has never done before, that God has just given him the wisdom to know how to do.  And God has also used people, so many times, stories I will never forget, and I know He won't either.

Each time I open the bible, or my bible study, and each Sunday, God is revealing the people of the past that have been challenged with something somehow similar to what I am going through at this very moment.  It is kind of a strange phenomenon to experience, but as I write to share with you, it becomes more obvious as I type the words.  I have promised not to edit the content of my blog after I write it, that way the words that I write are exactly what need to be said.  

I am so thankful to be in this place in life,  no matter how crazy it gets.  To just know that I can count on how I am feeling about everything that is happening right in front of us, it makes taking each day as it comes so much easier.  I am still walking around my house in circles, not sure what to pack, and what to sell and what to give.   But I will figure it out, and the girls are learning a lot and are helping me out tremendously.  At least from now on, we will always have our family!

The Promised Update

I have quickly realized how hard it is to blog with this much activity going on in our lives right now.  Not that I have had a whole lot to write about the last couple days... we are just waiting in faith, and pretending that everything is normal and that this is what everyone is doing.  

Tonight at my bible study, we talked about when it is a time to die, or end something that is dying.  Pruning, if you will.  In order to make something flourish, you might need to cut back on some branches (things/relationships) to help the growth become stronger and more beautiful.  God doesn't do coincidence... today is also our 10th wedding anniversary.  10 years ago today, I vowed to be a different person, to get rid of what wasn't the best, to commit to a different roll, and to an extent that I humanly cannot explain or understand completely.  I changed my life dramatically, though it did take some time for the growth to finally come back stronger, and I believe that it is all because of what God can do with someone who is willing to be pruned.  

Our life is being pruned, as a family, right now.  We are living in a mansion, in our minds, 3000 square feet is a lot of space.  I know that this home was from God as well, and I really wish I had started blogging when that all went down almost a year ago.  God gave it to us so we would have room for Tristin and Gracsyn while they were with us.  But once again, another story.

Until December 1st, the girls are sharing a 300 square foot bedroom/playroom.  God is calling us to downsize a bit, to 300 square feet for our WHOLE home.  Talk about pruning!  Our goal is to be able to fit what we still own into a 5' X 10' storage locker and what will fit in an RV.  The surprising emotions that are involved in basically getting rid of most of what you have collected over the last 10 years is confusing, yet healthy.  I am blessed with the memories of  those who have blessed us with all of our stuff, the many families of friends who have passed on their belongings to us, and I am blessed at the thought of who it will be passed onto.  But none the less, it is honestly a bit of a struggle.  Especially because we still do not actually possess an RV.

About that, God has allowed me to see into the situation.  I am learning that He is always giving us opportunities to make an impact, and be part of His will for our lives.  In this situation, God tried to use a man who needed a barn to be designed and built, and was wanting to barter an RV for the labor.  Unfortunately, the devil succeeded in intercepting the deal, tricking the man into wanting more money for the RV, not thinking that Joey's labor for MANY weeks was worth the dollar amount of his material possession.  

So, God moved onto the next heart.  A man Joey was introduced to through a member of our church, a believing man as well.  He has offered Joey approximately 6 - 8 weeks of work, remodeling his home, exactly how long it would have taken Joey to build the barn.  However, this job is close to home, Joey won't have to be in a different state (like would have been for the barn deal) and he already has plans made out to work with, which I am hoping is a big blessing in itself.  

In my next post, I need to remember to tell you about my Sam's Club chicken story, and how God has just used the strangest ways to talk to me lately! 

New Beginnings: Plan B

The man who Joey has been talking with about bartering the RV for Joey's labor to build a barn just got a little more annoying.  Now the guy wants Joey to build a barn and also pay him $12,000 for the RV above all the work Joey has planned out to do...  I think God is closing that door now.  Our last RV we had we bought for $12,000 and Joey didn't have to leave for 6 weeks or build anything.  Back to the drawing board.

Today I delivered a baby toy to a friend, sold a toy organizer, and passed on a doll house and a toy box that was given to us.  It felt scary, wonderful, and a little invigorating.  Hearing God's voice, and then following it in something this crazy is a very strange feeling I can't really explain.  It starts with a little anxiety followed by excitement and a little relief.  I can hear the Holy Spirit whispering to me that God will continue to bless us abundantly, and to just bless others.

However, not knowing where I am going to be living come December 1st should be terrifying to me at this point.  I am thrilled instead, and I can't wait to see what God is going to do next.  If the barn thing fell through, was it just a distraction for Joey, until God can set up the perfect RV?  Or did God want to use this man, but the man's greed got in the way, so God is working on another person's heart?  Is Joey going to have a flood of work and we will have the money we need to just buy another RV?  Am I going to have to move in with some friends or family for an unknown amount of time?  I thank God for His peace that passes understanding right now, because I should be in a corner of my closet crying right now!

But I will trust in the Lord my God with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my strength.  And I will not worry about tomorrow, because I know my God will handle all the details.

A Time for New Beginnings

I started a new bible study last week called "Time for Everything".  I have not been involved in a bible study since I was pregnant with Sunny, over 16 months ago.  God's timing is EVERYTHING.  This week, the chapter is titled "A Time for New Beginnings".  That is what this is.  This adventure that we have been called to, this dream to most people, something almost unattainable. 

The word revival means a new beginning of obedience, and that is what God is calling us to.  We require obedience of our children, and He is expecting the same of us, His children.  

The first thing I keep hearing (from God) is to blog.  Blog, blog, BLOG!!!  Ok, God, here I go.  Please help me to have the discipline to continue this and the wisdom to write what you want them to hear.

The second thing I keep hearing is that He has the perfect RV already picked out and that He has covered all the details.  

If you don't know me, or at least don't know what new craziness our family is up to... you are wondering what an RV has to do with anything.  So here it goes.

God has called us out of our comfort zone and into an RV.  He wants us to step out on faith; on the water, if you will, and sell most of what we own, downsize from a 3000 sq ft home to a 5' X 10' storage unit and move into a 350 sq ft RV.  And if you don't believe in God, now you REALLY think we are crazy.  

Yes, this mama is going to let go of most of our earthly things, take my 4 kids and my husband and live in an RV full time, while homeschooling and traveling around the country (when it is warm).  The HOW of it all will come later.  But God has been asking me, or really telling me to blog and I want to start with today.

So, back to the bible study.  We were reading in Exodus about Moses and the burning bush... a story I have heard before.  But I had never really READ the story and stopped to understand it.  Today was the perfect day for that.  

The basic idea of the story is that Moses comes across a random, constantly burning bush that is not burning up.  So of course he is curious and goes to check it out.  God (the cause of the burning bush) sees Moses coming up to see what this strange sight is all about, and calls to Moses. God tells him not to come any closer to the bush, but to take his sandals off (anywhere God is is holy ground) .  Moses obeys and then hides his face because he was afraid to look at God.  Then God instructs Moses to go to the Pharaoh and demand that he let God's people, the Israelites, out of Egypt.  In Exodus 3 and 4, Moses is having a conversation with God about why he shouldn't go talk to this big Pharaoh guy, but God basically says, "Dude, your equipped, I gave you the mouth you have and I will help you to say what I need you to say... you just need to obey."  God also calls himself [the] I AM.

After we read about that, we were given an activity.  We were told to finish the sentence, God might be talking to me about.....
My answer was that God is asking me to give Him COMPLETE control of my life and trust Him 110%.  He is challenging me specifically by asking me to allow Him to have control over when I have another baby, so I am not taking birth control for the first time in my life.  He has also asked us to go on this RV adventure, however, we are 6 weeks away from our lease being up and we have no RV.  Talk about needing faith!!!  

So while I am at the wonderful evening of bible study talking with God and myself about my struggles and how I can overcome them, Joey is at home and on the phone with a man he is making a deal with for an RV.  But, we are the Rowas, so nothing can be normal.  So Joey is trying to work out a deal to built a barn in barter/trade for a beautiful RV that has a lot of the things we would like to have in our new home.  When he got of the phone with that man, he told me that the deal is probably off.  Even though Joey has been working for the last 2.5 weeks on building plans, pricing out materials and getting all the details for building a barn, the man has found someone who is willing to do the work for much less money.  

So, we have no idea what is going to happen next.  We have very little savings, the work only comes in when we need something to be paid for.  God has been cool like that with us for the last TWO YEARS, obviously preparing us for what is to come.  But that story is for another time as well.  

My mind has gone blank, that must be all I need to say for now.  But let me share my prayer for myself for today.  Lord, please help me to manage my time better and not to be afraid of what is going to happen next.  Please give me the faith to know that the details are already covered.  Please remind me to pray and read (the bible) everyday with my family, so that we are constantly protected from the devil.  Amen.