Today we went to Ocala right after church, even packed up the dog, to go look for RV's. It was another disappointing day... the RV's we liked were overpriced, and the rest seem to all smell bad. One smelled like it had been a vet's office RV. Horrible.
As you can imagine, I am feeling completely defeated, exhausted, and a little hopeless. What, Heather? How could you feel hopeless when God has called you to this? Well, I know I can "hear" God's voice, and I know only He can change my heart the way it has been changed. I know that all the events leading to this very moment have all been for a reason. However, I cannot read God's mind. (wouldn't that be crazy if I could) So, we are still just waiting, waiting on the world to change... oh, no, sorry, song lyrics. Seriously, we are moving out of this house tomorrow completely. We are moving the rest of our stuff into a second storage locker, handing over the keys, and staying with our friends until we finally find the RV that is perfect for us. I can't be in this house for another minute. I need to move out and move on, even if we don't know where we are going to be next.
Yes, I know how crazy we are... but, think about the friends who just took our family in, all 6 of us, and the dog too. They are really crazy. Or they will be soon. LOL! I was crying out to God again tonight, feeling like I am somehow letting my family down, almost like I am failing them, and He showed me the amazing life change in these friends who are opening their home to us. How because of us, they are showing Jesus's love to us with no questions asked. He showed me how He can make anything beautiful, and that even if we don't have an RV to move into yet, we still have a roof over our heads and we are still together as a healthy family. What more do we need? Really, nothing.
I can't imagine how jumbled the last few posts I have written might seem, and I don't really go back and re-read or proof read before I push the publish button... I don't want to change what I am writing from my heart, just because my head says that it could be written better, or with bigger words, or more description. I want you all to know what my heart is feeling through all of this.
OH! Random thought, but important to this... so I was crying earlier, like I said... and after the kids were finally in bed, I laid down and turned on the TV for a few minutes. Joel Olsten was just coming on, and I was about to change it, since I am just not really into TV evangelism, but I stopped to hear a sermon from him, since he is under the microscope with a lot of Christians over his "feel good, prosperity" messages. Guess what, they are right. He is a feel good, prosperity preacher. But today, I needed to hear that. He was talking about faith, choosing to believe in something even though the facts say it just can't happen. He brought up the same points over and over, about sick having faith to be healed, about finances and how we can have faith to come through the struggles and come out on top, and faith to improve other parts of life. But he kept saying "faith, faith, you gotta have faith" And he is right. Above all, that is what my life is all about. Choosing to have faith, even though the facts don't add up. And why should I stop believing now? Everything I have put my faith in God for up to this point, has come out for the very best. Starting with my precious first born child, and down to every little detail of this new adventure we are trying to start. And I am going to choose to keep having faith.
I am so tired right now, that I am hoping that I said enough tonight, but I can't even keep my eye lids open to try to write anymore. Please don't stop praying, and thank you so much for reading my blog. I hope it will bless you, like writing it is a blessing to me. Sweet dreams.
Monday, December 15, 2014
Thursday, December 11, 2014
The Lost Virtue Part 2
I know in my heart that God's timing is always perfect. I just wish I could see the clock too. Patience is something that most people think I have a lot of... but that is not so true, and that is showing through right now. We are living in a house with almost no furniture, no beds at all, with landlords that (rightfully) want us out... not one of us knows what to expect tomorrow, and it has been very emotionally draining living this way.
As I am pouring out my heart to God, asking for answers, for help, for protection from the evil one, I want the answers. How would I find answers from God? Well, the Bible is a good place to look. I have been trying to remember to start every day with a little truth, and I just simply look for the verse of the day on my Bible app and then read that chapter in the Bible. It has been working well, and today was especially enlightening for me.
Today, the verse of the day is Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. ~ The whole chapter talks about living in faith, and names many of the people that were written about in the Bible that had faith. God has reminded me of so many of these "characters" over the last few weeks and months. Noah keeps coming up, and so does Mary. Abraham has been brought up from a friend. Sarah, and her faith gave her a baby WAY past her years of child bearing, and so many more stories, all in one chapter, reminding me that if they could do it in their much bigger, crazier circumstances, than I can make it through, faithfully waiting for our little RV.
Christmas is two weeks from today. We have not talked about gifts, or about shopping. We have been focusing on our family, on giving our things to others, to bless them the way we have been blessed. We are focusing on making memories, spending quality time together, and not trying to keep up with the Jones's anymore. I challenge you to look at your "holiday season". Look at what you're focused on, and if it will really matter tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year.
As we sit in an empty, 3000 sq ft house, hearing our voices echo against the walls where our STUFF used to be, you'd think my children would be complaining about what they don't have, or what they had to pack away and store... I am so amazed at them, and how happy they are to just be. To just be. No matter what happens next, we will still have our healthy family, our friends, and our faith to get us to the next place we need to be. Blessed doesn't begin to explain the feeling I am feeling, through the fear and the struggle. We are so very blessed.
As I am pouring out my heart to God, asking for answers, for help, for protection from the evil one, I want the answers. How would I find answers from God? Well, the Bible is a good place to look. I have been trying to remember to start every day with a little truth, and I just simply look for the verse of the day on my Bible app and then read that chapter in the Bible. It has been working well, and today was especially enlightening for me.
Today, the verse of the day is Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. ~ The whole chapter talks about living in faith, and names many of the people that were written about in the Bible that had faith. God has reminded me of so many of these "characters" over the last few weeks and months. Noah keeps coming up, and so does Mary. Abraham has been brought up from a friend. Sarah, and her faith gave her a baby WAY past her years of child bearing, and so many more stories, all in one chapter, reminding me that if they could do it in their much bigger, crazier circumstances, than I can make it through, faithfully waiting for our little RV.
Christmas is two weeks from today. We have not talked about gifts, or about shopping. We have been focusing on our family, on giving our things to others, to bless them the way we have been blessed. We are focusing on making memories, spending quality time together, and not trying to keep up with the Jones's anymore. I challenge you to look at your "holiday season". Look at what you're focused on, and if it will really matter tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year.
As we sit in an empty, 3000 sq ft house, hearing our voices echo against the walls where our STUFF used to be, you'd think my children would be complaining about what they don't have, or what they had to pack away and store... I am so amazed at them, and how happy they are to just be. To just be. No matter what happens next, we will still have our healthy family, our friends, and our faith to get us to the next place we need to be. Blessed doesn't begin to explain the feeling I am feeling, through the fear and the struggle. We are so very blessed.
Friday, December 5, 2014
They said Yes!
Hey guys!!! The place in Tampa that we had purchased an RV from before are willing to finance us for whatever we need left to cover the cost of whatever RV we pick out! Now the hard part (apparently) is going to be finding the house we need at a price that is reasonable and affordable. The search continues. They want us to try to find one at a dealership, for ease of transaction and also better protection from bad titles etc., so that limits us and our options. Please pray with us that we will find the perfect RV in the next day or two, and that God will make it very obvious and easy to get through the process. Please also pray for the land lords of this house. That they will continue to be understanding and that God will just speak to their hearts through this as well. Thanks! I will keep the updates coming!
Thursday, December 4, 2014
December 3rd
I am sitting at an old microwave cabinet, I think that is what they call them, because both the desks in our office sold today. It is so strangely exhilarating to look around this house, as things are being picked up for purchase, and truly not know what is going to happen next. Today, Joey called on the RV we would love to buy. It has the things that would make living in an RV full time possible and comfortable. It seems like it was well taken care of so far. Joey is going to go test drive it tomorrow. Also, Joey went back to the dealership in Tampa, and the woman promised to have an answer as to whether or not they would help us finance the rest of what we don't have saved, but she did not call back today, nor did she specify when she would call back by. It has been a very exciting day for me, and the suspense is killing me. I will wait upon the Lord, and trust in Him with all my heart, my soul, and my mind. I will wait upon the Lord.....
I know that this moment, these last few days and weeks, and all of what is about to happen means so much more that what I can see or understand right now in front of me. I am the most excited to know that God is using me, ME, to show Himself, and Jesus. That what the Bible says is true, that we can trust in Him with all our needs, and that that trust can be as small as a mustard seed, but change lives and move mountains with that tiny amount of faith. I know that God can give me back my teenage daughter, the one I had given to Him, and her adoptive mom. I know that God can forgive for anything, I mean anything. So I know that He can provide our family with what we need right now. And I know that I can't wait to see how He will continue to use us in this RV on this crazy adventure with no beginning and no end.
What's next? Great question! Tomorrow, I have two friends blessing me with their time, we are going to set up for the "everything in the house and the garage" sale that we are going to have Saturday. I need to start taking pictures of what is left and posting it on the local sites tomorrow. If you need stuff, we have it, so come to our house on Saturday and buy our stuff to help us raise the rest of the money we will need to buy this new house (on wheels)! I am also going to help the girls decide on what clothing to bring "on the bus". It will be a very easy task for Lily, I think she only has about 5 shirts that fit her that she will wear, and probably less shorts. She does her laundry a lot. Daisy, however, will be a different story. I think she has more clothes than Barbie, thanks to a wonderful friend who blesses us often with lots of fabulous clothes. Daisy is my little fashionista. She is always wanting to pick out the little girl's outfits, and tries to offer advice for my wardrobe as well. The things I didn't know I needed. Ivy's clothes are already in a laundry basket, ready to go. (The Master bed has storage under the mattress and mattress platform, a perfect size to hold laundry baskets with neatly folded clothes) Her dresser sold last week. The bunk beds will be taken down tomorrow as well. How strange it is to even type those words. Maybe I am a little anxious...
I really need to make myself go to sleep now, I should probably get up earlier than the kids and try to get more work done before the interruptions begin. At least I will have another adult to help field the "child needs" that arise tomorrow. Thank you for still reading along. I am glad that I will have this all documented for us to look back on and remember, and I am glad that it is blessing some of you, as you have shared with me. Thank you also, for the continued prayers. I KNOW I couldn't be doing all this right now without the prayers!
I know that this moment, these last few days and weeks, and all of what is about to happen means so much more that what I can see or understand right now in front of me. I am the most excited to know that God is using me, ME, to show Himself, and Jesus. That what the Bible says is true, that we can trust in Him with all our needs, and that that trust can be as small as a mustard seed, but change lives and move mountains with that tiny amount of faith. I know that God can give me back my teenage daughter, the one I had given to Him, and her adoptive mom. I know that God can forgive for anything, I mean anything. So I know that He can provide our family with what we need right now. And I know that I can't wait to see how He will continue to use us in this RV on this crazy adventure with no beginning and no end.
What's next? Great question! Tomorrow, I have two friends blessing me with their time, we are going to set up for the "everything in the house and the garage" sale that we are going to have Saturday. I need to start taking pictures of what is left and posting it on the local sites tomorrow. If you need stuff, we have it, so come to our house on Saturday and buy our stuff to help us raise the rest of the money we will need to buy this new house (on wheels)! I am also going to help the girls decide on what clothing to bring "on the bus". It will be a very easy task for Lily, I think she only has about 5 shirts that fit her that she will wear, and probably less shorts. She does her laundry a lot. Daisy, however, will be a different story. I think she has more clothes than Barbie, thanks to a wonderful friend who blesses us often with lots of fabulous clothes. Daisy is my little fashionista. She is always wanting to pick out the little girl's outfits, and tries to offer advice for my wardrobe as well. The things I didn't know I needed. Ivy's clothes are already in a laundry basket, ready to go. (The Master bed has storage under the mattress and mattress platform, a perfect size to hold laundry baskets with neatly folded clothes) Her dresser sold last week. The bunk beds will be taken down tomorrow as well. How strange it is to even type those words. Maybe I am a little anxious...
I really need to make myself go to sleep now, I should probably get up earlier than the kids and try to get more work done before the interruptions begin. At least I will have another adult to help field the "child needs" that arise tomorrow. Thank you for still reading along. I am glad that I will have this all documented for us to look back on and remember, and I am glad that it is blessing some of you, as you have shared with me. Thank you also, for the continued prayers. I KNOW I couldn't be doing all this right now without the prayers!
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