Things You Should Know

This is hard.  This is very hard.  Another mom, a fellow roadschooler, who I have never met in person, warned me.  She said I need to know that the closer "it" gets, the harder it will get.  I get it now.  (See what I did there hehe)  She was right, and I am glad that after a few days of spiritual warfare, I was able to look up and see the forest for the trees, so to speak.  Joey and I have been arguing for days.  Blame, guilt, stress, fear, the devil has been using them all.  The kids are doing their best to stay out of the way and hang onto the faith they have grasped onto.  (There, I said it)

But there is faith, at least I still have that.  I have had more than one person lately ask me if I have had any second thoughts, any doubts in what I feel like the Lord has been telling me.  My answer is a firm NO.  The few moments in the beginning where I wavered in my faith, God showed me (and I  blogged about it) other people, my brothers and sisters in Christ, who had faith that didn't make sense, and where He took them.  Especially at this time of year, Mary really comes to mind.  She didn't really have a choice but to have faith, did she?  I mean she was already kinda pregnant.  People probably thought she was crazy.  SHE probably thought she was crazy!  But a baby was born, and we celebrate His birthday soon.  And if God can do that, He can do anything.  I believe!  

As we come into this Christmas season, the season of celebration, but also of giving, our family will be buying an RV.  Every penny we have will be towards the BEST Christmas present that the world could produce for our family right now.  Our home until further notice.  Our kids won't be disappointed in how few boxes might be under the tree, though the devil might try to sneak the lies through their joy.  Our kids will be with us, and we will be with them.  We will be spending time together, with our family and friends.  We won't worry about what presents to buy, or how many decorations to put up in our RV (but that will be fun!).  Our family will be celebrating the birth of our Savior, the start of something completely new, and the time and resources we will now have to use so much more wisely.  That is all we need.  

It is such a challenge to find words to type right now.  My mind is almost numb with all the thoughts that are running through it.  I know God wants me to be sharing all the bits and pieces of this adventure (I can't think of a better word), but even thinking about the past few days right now is making me tired.  I am going to apologize now for any run-on sentences or horrible grammar mistakes that be in this post.  I am going to sum it up in as few words as possible.  Phone, with all pics of everything being sold, decided to dive into my protein shake.  Next day, kitchen faucet decides to start squirting water everywhere... and then not doing anything at all.  Now I am using a phone that is barely working because the technology has surpassed it ten-fold.  But, I am so thankful for my indestructible phone!  Even if I can't Facebook half the time :).  (At least I have a phone)  And I am thankful for clean water in my garden hose and a window in my kitchen, so I can still wash dishes in the kitchen, and not in the bath tub (that doesn't drain).  (At least I have dishes to wash) New houses have crappy plumbing.  That is today's service announcement.  

I think I need to go to bed now, I am starting to see double.  I knew I needed to at least write something. Please continue to pray for protection from the devil for our whole family.  Please pray for the perfect RV with no problems that we are not able to fix.  Thank you!   

December 3rd

Did I write about feeling like I kept hearing December 3rd from the Holy Spirit?  I don't remember (big surprise) if I did or not, but it has been a date in my head for a few weeks now.  I didn't really know what that meant, I was just thinking that maybe that would be the day we would actually move out.  

However, something strange happened today.  Joey decided to make a second call to the place in Tampa where we have already purchased an RV.  This is strange because he is not the kind of guy to make a second call if the first call was not returned.  Me, I am persistent.  Anyway, so he called today and acted like me, being persistent.  He finally got the owner on the phone and she had remembered our family.  (who can forget us LOL)  They talked for a few minutes, she told him they don't have RVs on the lot right now, but that they could go to auction and see what they could find for us.  The benefit of going through her would be two things.  First, they have experience in RVs already, VS other people we know who have access to auctions.  Second, they have financed us before, and we could finance this one through them as well. For some reason, God has not allowed us to save as much money as we had hoped to, so financing is probably unavoidable.   

What does that have to do with December 3rd?  That is the day of the next auction.  God has told me over and over to be patient.  Even through His Word, which doesn't happen very often at all.  And then the date being repeated over and over in my head.  I KNOW He has the perfect thing for us!  It will have everything we NEED, and enough room to be able to homeschool comfortably with a dog on the floor next to us.  It might be an older model, or not be so cute on the inside... but it will be perfect.  

I cannot even begin to describe the feeling I have inside me right now.  Of course, the elation is mixed with fear, because I still have a LOT of stuff to sell and pass along!  I need wisdom for what to sell and what to just share, and also how much to ask for each of the things we are selling.  And motivation to just keep packing.  Thanks for the prayers, they are working!!!  

P.S. How can I be praying for you?

The No News Flash

Well, I guess that title is misleading, because I do have news to report.  It just isn't what I would like to be reporting on right now.  We are down to 11 days until our lease is up.  We are waiting patiently for what is gonna happen next, whatever that is.  I have faith that God has the perfect RV picked out for us, and that we will have it as soon as possible.  I also have noticed that God likes to make us wait until the very last day, and sometimes even last hour or minute, before He covers our next need.  He knows we need a place to live.  He knows we need something to suit our family.  He knows our needs.  He clothes us by all of the people who bless us with "passed along" clothing.  He provides us with cars, and food, and phones.  We are not lacking, our needs are met.  We are blessed with so many things we want as well.  We are so blessed!

Yes, we do have a few ideas for "back-up" plans, friends and family have offered their homes for us to share, and we could always hit up a hotel if need be.  I am constantly amazed at the number of friends who will offer what they have to us, such a big family (and loud too)  God has really shown us what love looks like through these last 2 plus years.  I hope that I am mirroring that in a way that makes Him proud.

I seem to have writer's block tonight.  Maybe it's the deadline approaching, maybe it's the fact that I am not taking care of myself as well as I should, so my brain is a little foggy, or maybe it's just the (rare) freezing temperatures outside tonight.  I feel like I have so much to say about everything, yet the words just don't flow.  I wish I could explain the crazy peace I am experiencing considering all that is about to happen.  It really is the peace that passes understanding that I sang about when I was a kid.  I am bi-polar with anxiety and I should be a total mess right now.  Thank God for my meds, but they can only do so much to keep me level.  I can't believe that I can eat and sleep and not feel like I am going to throw up or pass out right now. It is such relief!  I mean, I could easily freak out, take control and find an apartment real quick to make sure we have a real plan in case maybe I heard God wrong or something... but I want to let go and let God, like the saying goes.

OH!  AND... a German Shepard dog has decided to make us his family... isn't that funny?!?  We had talked about having a large dog for protection, and had even "interviewed" a rottie awhile back.  That dog had issues, so we just kinda gave up the idea.  My mom and I were having a conversation about the decision to wait on getting a dog on Wed, Oct 29th.  She was saying how nuts I was to want a dog in an RV too, but I really miss my rottie, she was my travel companion before I ever met Joey, and I loved having her along because she scared the crap out of people.  :)    I agreed with mom, though, on the timing.  Especially considering that I have 1 kid in diapers full time, and another in them at night... I don't need to potty train a dog too.  I told her "the only way I could have a dog right now is if one came already potty trained and knowing how to sit so I can just teach the dog from there and not have to worry about the baby puppy stage".  I still can't believe this as I am typing it, but the VERY NEXT DAY, Joey drove out to his old Tampa shop to get some clear bra materials cut.  When he got there, after trying to get out to the shop for days, his buddy told him about a dog they had inside that had just walked up to them and started hanging around the shop.  They took the dog to a vet to check for a microchip, and nothing was found.  We have had the dog ever since that day, searching online and putting up posters to find the dogs owner.  We haven't found anyone that claims him!  So, the dog seems to be around 9 months old, is completely house trained, knows the command 'sit', and is turning out to be a really great dog.  I can't believe the dog I described to my mom walked into our lives the very next day.  I don't believe in coincidence, I think God allows everything to happen for a reason, and I am sitting on the edge of my seat (with you) waiting to see what is going to happen next.  Thanks for "staying tuned"!

Gotta Have Faith

Ok, so I have been sick for a week now, to the point of just enough head and chest cold to not be able to think straight or have much energy, for a week.  Doesn't really keep me on schedule, (HA!  if you know me, you know that "schedule" is a dirty word) things have actually piled up, so I am having to just catch up before I can move on to more sorting, packing and making piles of what is going where.  It is a sea of boxes and containers all over my bedroom, and the dining room.  I feel like I am getting so much done, and then I look around and see nothing to show for it.  Talk about aggravating.  My sweet girls are offering their help constantly, but at the moment, there is really not much they can do.

Oh, and still there is no RV.  God is so good, and Joey has had some big jobs come in during the last week and even going into next week.  We are able to save a lot of that money, and we do have his van we can sell if we need to.  I know that I have complete faith that this is what God has next for our family.  Everything has been set up perfectly.  I can see the even bigger picture right now too.  God has just unlocked a window to me that has helped me put so many connections together to understand why He has allowed the things of my past to happen.  That in itself, has been beyond overwhelming.  I told a friend the other day that I feel like I am a living Bible story right now.  God has remind me of the manna that he provided, only what they needed for one day, and no more.  God has remind me of Mary, who had no choice but to trust God, just like me right now.  I remember the story of Job, and how he was stripped of EVERYTHING, at least we are not asked to be Job.  :)

I have not been reading the Bible like I should this week and I am feeling it.  I am rushed to write this, but I at least wanted to give a quick update.  I have Bible study tonight, a jump start back to God's word.  I am sure to have His inspiration to write more.  I'll be back soon.

P.S. A dog has adopted us.  A German Shepard puppy.  This might be permanent.